"Now, here's the perfect device for personal transportation. With it, you can avoid:
sharing your bed and chamber-pot with a horse, shopping for oats, currying or sharing
the horse's comb, and sitting in coaches with the 'unwashed masses.'

This neat little invention was created by a clever German, Baron von Drais, in 1816.
By 1818, it had taken Europe by storm. And by 1819, we Brits got the 'fever', thanks
to Denis Johnson. And you Americans latched onto it pretty quickly, too - although you
did ride it on the wrong side of the road.

Once you learned to keep your balance, you were well on your way to rolling along --
and hitting something -- and possibly breaking some bones. I highly recommend it to
all Tory party officials."